Couldn't Happen To A Nicer Bloke, Shouldn't Happen To Ordinary People

Mark Rober, the eponymous "former NASA engineer" of the memes, and all round brilliant debunker and educator has just uploaded a "fun" video about obstacle detection and crash prevention tech in cars. Apparently, nearly all "self driving" models of car use LiDAR obstacle detection. Can you guess what Tesla use? Hold your guess and watch Mark's video...

Honestly, right now, the people I feel worst for are those who fell for Elon's lies and went with a Tesla. I normally have little sympathy for "lemon" buyers, I'm a cycling advocate and an "urbanist" who vehemently believes cars have become the bad master rather than out good servants they promised to be when they cleaned up cities suffering "horseshit pollution." But, right now, that "flash rat with a gold tooth" and his "pretend uncle Donny" is caught out in more lies and BS that ultimately is leaving people with expensive family transport that has just lost half (more?) of its value overnight.

Private ownership became the model for uban transport, whereas community ownership and car sharing might have allowed bicycles and public transit to flourish. Cars stalled urban design and reversed safety responsibilities from causers to victims - "be careful crossing the road!" - a thing that was never really much of a thing before cars. Jaywalking as an offence was invented by the car industry in the 1920s to reframe the rise in street deaths caused by motoring. If anything sums up our times better than that, the "marketing solution" to a product problem. Driving tons of metal at leopard speeds through densely populated areas wouldn't be the problem, no, it's stupid people. Well yes, but the stupids are the ones in the tin boxes, not the ones trying to cross the road to go about the business. Driver, cyclist, user of public transit, we all end up as pedestrians at the end of our trip. Those who walk should have primary priority, those who ride are next, those who ride motors, last. The French call this strict liability and they have started urbanising Paris, making it pedestrian and cycle friendly because cars first planning is not conducive to a strict liability legal environment, nor is it conducive to any kind of public safety.

So, back to Mark's video. LiDAR works, cameras don't. Tesla use cameras. If you use any of Tesla's driver assist technology, you are driving a manslaughter weapon waiting to happen. Mark and his team are engineers. Mark used to work for NASA, he's an educator, encouraging kids to get into engineering and science. This isn't some "instagram stunt" this is how to do experiments. Simulate conditions, move objects through thos conditions, record what happens. I say again, LiDAR works, cameras don't and Teslas use cameras.

At least the Cyber Truck looks like a piece of shit. Those Model 3s and Model Xs that infest my neighbourhood are "mudguards" - shiny on top, shit underneath. Death traps, not necessarily for their owners, but for everybody else. Literal accidents waiting to happen. The Chinese car makers are doing a better job than Elon, never mind the Europeans. Even the Japanese, who have been a bit reluctant to move much beyond hybrids are doing a better job than Elon. What price your kid's life? What price somebody else's kids life? Ditch the Tesla.