I.S.S (The Movie, Netflix) Is Barely One, Cold Smear Out Of Five Steaming Turds

All you need to know is in the title but, just to make myself abundantly clear, it's not that there wouldn't be a load of paranoia between a half Russian, half American crew of the ISS if WWIII broke out, it's that, from the space agency disasters and near misses I've seen play out in the news in real life since the end of the cold war, the whole world pitches in with all the science likely to help. Sure, the militaries of each nation might order transmissions to take over the station, but I reckon they'd have to do it gang-handed and at gunpoint to get it sent then, once the goons leave, both Kennedy Space Centre and Baikonur would be working hand over fist to get the 'nauts home alive.

If both sites had been eradicated, ESA would be on the case. Scientists would consult, they'd use science and engineering to solve the crisis facing the 'nauts, and they'd risk their own safety to safely rescue those stranded.

Then there's the "burning landscape" that seems to constantly be directly underneath them. The ISS may be in a geosynchronous orbit, but it's not an equitorial orbit because its a science platform. For all the sciences! So it needs to spiral its way around the earth on an inclined (declined?) orbit, so that as well as around the world, it moves "up and down," nearly pole to pole. As for the burning landscape, the flashes as war breaks out would be a thing, cities and other specific target sites might glow with fires near ground zero, I very much doubt the entirety of the USA or Russia, wherever they were above, in the hour and a half I wasted watching this tripe, would be entirely conflagrated. Nuclear weapons are not super massive firebombs or planet killer meteors, they can't destroy with flames much beyond the blast radius. The wasteland they create is caused by ionising radiation and life beyond blast zones goes on... with the occasional mutation and lots of cancer and other radiation induced disease. Outside the blast zone, nothing burns endlessly. It doesn't even glow in the dark FFS!

From a psychology perspective, what are the 'nauts going home to? They'd be more afraid of dying in their tin can (thank you, Mr. Bowie) than with whether they could trust each other. These are not only incredibly smart scientists and engineers, they're highly trained mission specialists. If a low bandwidth text message came in saying, "Take over the station," they'd more than likely be looking to see if Anonymous had hacked them and were playing a prank. They'd initiate a well rehearsed disaster plan. They might bicker and argue from the stress of it all, but they'd turn their minds to mutual survival because they're not military at NASA or Roscosmos, even if there might be military stationed at Canaveral or Baikonur, they're scientists and engineers doing their core duties. They're explorers who simply do not get selected if they show even the slightest signs of paranoia and survival minimising behaviours under stress.

Yes, they're human, with human frailties, and nuclear war would be as terrifying a prospect for people stuck in that tin can (nods to David again) as it would for those of us in un-nuked places on the ground. I know from being an emergency warden for my workplace back in the day, training kicks in harder than fear, because training guards you against fear. The fear is there, even in drills, but the training gives you power over it. Jesus, who wrote this shit, nuke their career before they foist another turd on the audience? Stunningly more dumb, who the fuck would fund it? I'm starting to consider downgrading it from a smear out of five steaming turds to barely a silent fart, let alone the sort of drama it should have been, given apocalypse it's about. A steaming shit in the confined space of the The Cupola of the ISS would stink less.